we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
