her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
