I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
