So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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