a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
