I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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