Sponge bath it is.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
