my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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