mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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