Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize