In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
FUCK WHALES
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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