CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
