Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
