I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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