I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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