god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize