Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
