I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize