You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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