I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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