He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize