Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
