I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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