I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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