loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
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I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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