she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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