I wanna bring you to show and tell
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
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I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
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Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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