Your dad touched me again.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
