i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Mom said you looked used
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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