Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
