did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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