I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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