my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
