he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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