you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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