just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
