Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
