i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
