You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
