he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
