So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
