dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
