I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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