Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore

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  (906): Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore http://tfl.nu/jxvu
  Replies (17) Good night (2476) Bad night (6436)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.

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  (785): We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson. http://tfl.nu/vrgn
  Replies (19) Good night (5051) Bad night (2163)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape

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  (603): my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape http://tfl.nu/orsz
  Replies (17) Good night (3734) Bad night (938)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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  (307): first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester. http://tfl.nu/skng
  Replies (14) Good night (6109) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

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  (949): I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/uflu
  Replies (4) Good night (3271) Bad night (1183)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  That's practically a relationship for you

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  (479): Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week. (1-479): That's practically a relationship for you http://tfl.nu/hhkc
  Replies (26) Good night (2078) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.

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  (724): I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out. http://tfl.nu/ua1b
  Replies (11) Good night (1123) Bad night (2156)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.

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  (262): She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor... (262): I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho. http://tfl.nu/4nj6
  Replies (8) Good night (1594) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward

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  (248): Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward http://tfl.nu/e7xn
  Replies (4) Good night (723) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  She's not a foreskin expert like you

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  (916): She's not a foreskin expert like you http://tfl.nu/02y6
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (615)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.

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  (937): I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms. http://tfl.nu/x3mv
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what

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  (860): Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what http://tfl.nu/zlfv
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions

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  (307): When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions http://tfl.nu/bhkl
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?

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  (415): I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms? http://tfl.nu/krzn
  Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm so hungover I can't taste anything

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  (919): I'm so hungover I can't taste anything http://tfl.nu/o9yl
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (372)

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