Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I think I sharted a yagerbomb.

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  (502): I think I sharted a yagerbomb. http://tfl.nu/xi3d
  Replies (15) Good night (761) Bad night (3646)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads

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  (504): so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads http://tfl.nu/yn7g
  Replies (24) Good night (678) Bad night (7109)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway

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  (224): The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway http://tfl.nu/3kio
  Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (3408)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags

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  (905): No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags http://tfl.nu/jbrv
  Replies (24) Good night (1699) Bad night (4031)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."

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  (410): Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down." http://tfl.nu/u1mc
  Replies (8) Good night (4334) Bad night (1007)
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  (+86): View more from China

  Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.

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  (+86): Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported. http://tfl.nu/uoj6
  Replies (10) Good night (5817) Bad night (1389)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.

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  (917): The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join. http://tfl.nu/f8od
  Replies (12) Good night (976) Bad night (1815)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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  (903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed. http://tfl.nu/pos0
  Replies (3) Good night (2168) Bad night (620)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.

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  (501): You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie. http://tfl.nu/eccp
  Replies (4) Good night (2253) Bad night (696)
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  (562): View more from California

  it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

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  (562): it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats http://tfl.nu/6ylt
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (534)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him

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  (859): I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him http://tfl.nu/eehd
  Replies (10) Good night (1196) Bad night (498)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK

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  (248): THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK http://tfl.nu/8so3
  Replies (4) Good night (1225) Bad night (600)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  It's called being normal.

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  (660): I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals. (417): It's called being normal. http://tfl.nu/c2qe
  Replies (9) Good night (1441) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

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  (412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y
  Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (448)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love

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  (314): We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love http://tfl.nu/whb6
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (133)

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