he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes