i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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