i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.