I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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