He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
that is very illegal...i love you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
