Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
