Whod you bang
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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