I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
