He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
