She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
