Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
