When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
