You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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