We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
