when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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