Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
