i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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