It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
