Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
