morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
