You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
