my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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