found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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