Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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