Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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