I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
