didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
